There are TWO kinds of people in Ultima Online. There are those who
submit, and those who resist domination. I consider myself an asshole when
it comes to online gaming, because there is really nothing you can really
do in Ultima Online anymore.
1. You can't do (Player Versus Player) PvP. PvP is beyond dead. Origin
turned that shit into Diablo II.
2. Noone knows you because they all quit.
So the only thing left to do, is cause people grief, and piss people
off.
PEOPLE WHO RESIST DOMINATION:
So I log into Atlantic one day, minding my own business, when I see two
targets. I wanted to be an asshole today, and I needed to practice my bank
sitting skills. I look to see what they're doing. .. One of them drops
a rune book for the other to recall on. (Because he was too much of a shitty
mage to be able to cast gate travel.)
So they drop the book, my character has NO gold in his bank. Ahh Ha!
Money making opportunity! So I grab the book. I guess after figuring out
the situation, it was a Father, and Son deal. So I guess the father lost
connection or some shit, and I picked up the rune book, on a P166 computer
with 64 MB of RAM, on a high ping cable connection. I guess his son was
too slow minded to figure out how to drag an object into his backpack. *shrug*
(I still got game.)
So it takes them a while to figure out what happened. They spent about
10 minutes arguing between each other, while I just offset myself, and continued
to laugh at them quietly. Well, at this point the father is pissed at his
son, telling him to double check his bag.
So being the UO asshole that I am, I run up to daddy, and quickly throw
his rune book into his trade window. I guess common sense, is not one of
this man's strong points. Apparently he didn't catch the hint.
Being my bold and honest self, I walk up to the man, and tell them with
noble courage that I had taken his rune book, and I expect 10 thousand gold
for it. His "10 Year old Son" (Or so he says) starts cursing me out for
it. He says "You fucking cock sucker, give my book back."
His "Son" kept proceeding to curse me out, as I kept trying to tell them
both, that if they wanted their rune book back, then it would require a fee.
Well apparently big daddy was poor and couldn't afford 10k gold. They
looked like the solid role-player types. So daddy needed an excuse.
Well after daddy called me a: "Fucking asshole." I generously replied
with a, "Thank you." After that, he can see that his moronic insults, and
the desperate need for his one, and only rune book, was failing to do him
any good.
I am a bargaining kind of guy, I gave daddy a new offer for his book.
He can work for it! Yes. I gave him the opportunity to put a pink dress
on, and hang out in town with me, and call me daddy. He had the chance to
be my bitch, but he refused that offer. Then he told his "son": "I'm calling
your father." It was that, or he was talking to me, as if my dad gave two
shits and a fuck what I said in an online game. If my dad knew what was
going on, he would be laughing, but he probably would have me give the book
back. (Which I wouldn't, because it's mine now.)
I guess the image of him being my bitch on a leash, didn't settle too
well in his mind. Out of options, and pissed off, he tries to kiss up,
and start some moral bullshit, as if I would feel guilty and give it to
him. Then he tells me that I offended him, and his son, by using bad language.
(I wish I had a screen shot to verify some of this.) Even though, I never
started the trash talk or insults, and profanity. He then told me, he was
going to call a GM on me.
I had to clarify to his contradicting, hypocrite ass, that both him and
his son, referred to me as being a : "Fucking asshole." Not that these
words offend me at all, I just had to point out the stupidity that he was
spitting out.
I then told him, that I took advantage of his stupidity, and that he wasn't
entitled to any refunds as a result of it. Why should I be responsible for
someone else's stupidity? It was funny, for some time, Origin was banning
players accounts for scamming, before they realized how many man hours they
were spending defending stupid people, and helping stupid people with problems
that they started.
Noone should fix someone's stupid mistake, it's their own god damn problem.
They have pills and doctors for those sort of mental problems. Why not
use me as a scape goat to make yourself feel better about your stupidity
hey? Let's call a game master on me hey?
After careful reviewof his own logs, he then explained to me, he was sorry
for what his son said, after reviewing his logs. He then tried to use the
sympathy/ass kiss approach, to get his item back. I am not fooled by this.
It takes a man to tell someone that they're fucking DENIED, and there ain't
shit, but a good 10k or a pimp-leash, walk around Brit Park would do, to
solve this problem.
After this I felt like going to the Mage vendor and buying a blank rune
book, incase someone else would come across our conversation to be a "good
samaritan." They'll eventually find themselves denied as well, for trying
to solve a problem with a slow minded individual, to make everyone feel
better.
I can't apologize for being an asshole, that's what I am. I am sure you
religious kikes would pick up the book, just to make sure someone else wouldn't
pick it up, and give it back to the owner, and remind them that dropping
the book on the ground can cause assholes to pick them up, and resell them
to their owner.
So this asshole continues to try and kiss ass, and I told him to remove
his lips from my ass, and take a hint. Either:
1. You pay me for MY Rune book.
2. You make yourself into a Panegiggalo.
There is no way out of this situation. So then he knows this, and then
tells me that I am a mean person. I told him, that I am a mean person in
UO, and a mean person in real life. People like this guy should be punished,
and be forced to have sex with farm animals. This guys' options were limited,
so he tried the guilt trip approach to the situation.
He told me that my language was unacceptable to use in front of his son.
I asked him how old his son was, and he didn't answer at first, but later
told me he was 10 years old. Then I asked him how old he was, and he said:
"I'm older than you." I told him how old I am. Then I told him that he
shouldn't expect censorship in every single computer application there is,
especially on the net. There is people who swear in UO all the time, and
get away with it. It takes a mature person to be able to handle swearing
and curse words. Don't like it when I curse?
FUCK YOU! I can curse
whenever I please. I am an adult and I can curse, if you don't like my language
then leave, you fucking sissy.
I couldn't point out the hypocrisy more than this, it was there, and he
knew he was mind spanked.So he ran about 10 tiles north off my screen, and
logged out. Probably screaming at his monitor, calling Origin and reporting
me for making him look stupid.
Here are some screen shots I took of my journal log from this little episode,
I bleeped out my name, so that Origin will not try and compensate for his
stupidity by banning my account. (OSI does shitty things like that.)
I Ran these through solarization, and
sharpened up the pictures, so you could see the text better. Since both
of our texts are hard to read.
Those Who Submit:
I really wanted to see if those dumbasses came back, and
I tell you I came back and about 1 screen away from the original crime scene,
there was another guy. This one was wearing "leet" clothing, trying to help
a newbie. I saw this little blue rune book on the ground, and I TOOK it
without thinking twice.
Before I took it, he told the newbie to pick up the book, so no one would
take it. Just then I ran up to it and *Yoink!* I then immediately said:
"Haha YES! This is the second time!" What perfect timing? I'd say so.
So then the newbie with his all caps name starts cursing me out, and swearing
at me. While the "leet d00d" starts telling me a story about how "old skewl"
he is, as if I gave a fuck. Then he started giving me a quiz, in which the
answers I answered with true wisdom, except for one question, which involved
a trade skill I've never practiced in UO. He asked me if I knew what picture
frames were called when fishing was first upgraded.
Well first of all shortly after T2A, was when fishing was upgraded by
OSI for role-playing butt pirates, to dig up treasure at sea. I never understood
the concept of fishing, and butt pirating, until I had gotten a GM fisherman
on the Baja shard in 2001, and fished up some vanqs. (But then beat myself
repeatedly in the head with a 13 inch lead pipe, when I realized what I had
done.)
So I guess I cannot answer his question, about fishing. I wasn't a fisherman,
I was a PvPer. I wasn't even a rares collector. I remember how annoying
no draw tiles were, and now they're selling 500k a pop. It's sick. Anyway...
So this guy is "Old Skewling" me to death with his Trivia questions, before
I finally told him to shut the fuck up and pay me 10k.
(Actually I didn't say exactly that, please refer to the picture.)
After about 10 minutes of verifying something that wasn't even in context
here, finally his newbie friend, got tired of this bullshit "old school"
verification process. As his friend wasn't fooling anyone. Not that being
old school has anything to do with this issue at all, but being since I'm
old school I might as well say something.
So after his newbie decides to spare me the bullshit, he hands me over
10,000 gold, and ends our conflict.
Just remember to never let your guard down,
and show them who's boss.
Morale of the story: People think domination and submission is
limited only to sex. Well, it's not.
