Ultima Online is a game we can all love to hate. If you have never played Ultima Online, then you are in great luck. I would like to remind everyone how addicting this game is, and there's no cure for it, other than cold turkey, or the new Age of Shadows Expansion. Fair warning to all, Ultima Online is a pixilized substance, and it may cause one or more of the followin g problems:

1. Excessive Weight gain .
2. Excessive self starvation, and malnutrition.
3. Inability to stand in long lines, because of several hours of inactivity, and cybering.
4. Distraction in what's important in life, i.e. School, Work, i.e. Dropping out of school, to guard faction sigils.
5. Slurring of speech, basic english, or problems with proper grammar, and word usage. i.e. Why use the word: "You suck", when it's easier to use the word: "u sux". I like to call these words: "Webonics", or "UOBonics."
6. Social problems: When you talk to someone, and you say: "ROTFLMFAO" in real life, or when someone asks you how old you are and you tell them in MONTHS, and you find out that more people don't want to be around you because you're strange, and you speak a different language than they do.
7. When you go on a bike ride, then when you start running out of breath, because of many hours of inactivity at the computer caused you to lose your endurance.
8. When you start meeting other people just like you over Ultima Online, and you realize that your children, are indirectly a product of UO.
9. When your social life is declined, you find yourself masturbating more often than usual.
10. When you are jealous of someone's UO account, and that account happens to have a female character on it, you buy it, and you play her so often, that you start actually changing your sexual preferences in real life as a result of it. Next thing you know, you start talking to your friends and family with a lisp, and you find yourself wearing women's clothes.

Current Ultima Online Rants:

Majestic Man/Mini Maj Rant :
I can't tell you how many times, I've told this fat porker to shut up about how good he "thinks" he is at the game, and concentrate on lowering his Triglycerides, Cholesterol, and his massive food intake, and ultimately LOSE weight. I hate to see a young life wasted on UO, Twinkies, Masturbation, and Premature Ejaculation.

Domination & Submission :
A lot of people think Domination, and submission is all about sex, and fetishes. That's not true, this name can also be applied to online gaming, as long as you properly justify it.

Faggots play UO? :
Who knew?


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