Want my respect?  Then lose weight.

If you play online games and you look like this:

Then don't try impressing me with bullshit.  The fat ass twinkie you see above this text is a player from the game called "Ultima Online" on the Baja Shard. He thrives on glorifying himself as being sexy all the time.  He's known as "Majestic Man", or better known as: "Mini Maj".  He was a frequent victim of mine, when he was new to the game.  I probably turned him into the anti-social shit head he is, and caused him to gain weight, which is my mistake.

When he's not getting his ass kicked, or avoiding fights in School, he's busy trying to build up an online reputation in an online game, which he plays 24/7.  As you can see, I had to cut out most of the shit around him, just so I could squeeze his massive Battleship of a body into the image.

You would think after all that built up aggression, that he finally tries to live up to his "so-called" reputation by finding the cheapest partner to win the tournament for him, and not do much of any of it himself. Sad? I'd say so.

Want to hear a Role-playing story? Once apon a time there was this fat little boy. He woke up one morning, with a goal! A quest to get to the computer! It's a long painfull journey from his bedroom to the computer room. He almost felt like one of the characters from the Lord of the Rings. So on his way there, he smells something very interesting! Ah Ha! Behold! A box of Twinkies! this shall help me carry on In my journey! So then the fat little troll moves along..Ahh yes, I'm almost there, past the kitchen down the hallway! As he pants like a sick dog.. Aa..lmost...there. Finally makes it! Now he can sit down like a king, to "R0xx0r" and Conquer. Mostly so he can do physical things in a game, in which he could never accomplish in real life.

Whenever you make fun of him, he makes a vague reference to his winning the Ultima Online Baja Tournament of champions,( or should I say the tournament of power scrolled idiots) and how he's much better than you in real life.  Then he tries to tell you that he's sexy.  Yeah you sure are a sexy man maj.

It's stupid people like this who make online gaming no fun.  If you really want to impress me Majestic Man, then lose weight.  Stop trying to prove yourself in a game that's made for people with lack of skill. I wouldn't want to see you get a heart attack because you have a reputation to make.

I feel sorry for this fat little bastard. I also feel sorry for how much pressure he exerts on his chair, it's a good thing his chair is constructed, and held up by MacPhearson Struts. I'd also like to know.. How can you urinate when you've got a mountain gut blocking the squirt?  Even if he could have sex, he would eventually find out he was making love with his belly button, because his gut was in the way.

If you're a fat anti-social kid, and you want to impress me, then please lose some weight, and stop trying to prove yourself in a game that you suck at.

Morale of the story:  People think I lost a lot of weight before I wrote this essay.