The Most Convincing Story on Earth: The Bible.

A few months ago, I was on my way to a friends house.  When I was stopped by a friendly black boy wearing glasses.  He asked me if I had a smoke.  He noticed, I was smoking a cigarette.  Being the nice guy that I am, I gave him a cigarette to support his habit.

So I'm thinking this guy is pretty cool I guess.  Apparently he was on his way to the mall waiting for a Bus to come and pick him up.  Then he immediately starts annoying me with talk about Revelations, and the return of Jesus, and the signs he's seeing.  I felt like punching him in the face; shattering his glasses, and take my cigarette back from him.  Then I continued to endure this horrible conversation we were having, while keeping my emotions to myself, with a partially straight face.  I tried very hard to avoid laughing at his stupidity.

I had to find a reason to get out of here, because this conversation was starting to give me cramps.  I continued to nod my head and agree with him. Even though when I nod to something, I'm either ignoring you, or thinking about something else.  I didn't want to show any negativity, otherwise he'd probably think I was a racist and that I hated blacks.

I will tell EVERYONE RIGHT NOW! I HATE GOD, I Hate Jesus, I hate Satan, I hate Moses, I hate the false prophets who come to my door and talks about these fictional characters, and wants me to believe in them.

When I was in school I excelled in Science, and Technology.  Those were my favorite subjects.  In seventh grade I spent a great deal of time Studying Paleontology, and Paleobotony.  Part of learning these things, is learning about Evolution.  At a very young age I already had a strong understanding of Science, and evolutionary traits, and refused to go to church, and refused to believe in Jesus.

When I was in seventh grade, there was a kid that was always picked on in School.  I felt sorry for him, and he invited me to go to church.  Last time I went to church they had free food there, and it was great.  So I went to church. This was around 1993-1994, It wasn't your average church gathering, it was a massive haul of clueless people.  I didn't give two shits and a fuck about god, I just wanted something to do, besides sit at home and play video games all day.  Apparently they had this serious preacher there, and after that I knew what my friend was doing.  He knew I wasn't a regularly religious person in general, and he thought he would save me or something.  It's no wonder this asshole was beat up in School, I felt like pouncing on him right there.  So after about three hours of standing in a fucking line, I finally got to sit down.  There was a bunch of kids there, who didn't believe in god at all.  IT WAS A FUCKING SCAM! I WAS SCAMMED!  Then this preacher starts trying to poison our minds for about 6 hours about how great god is.  I couldn't just get up and leave, because that fucking place was packed! Plus my only ride back was with this little asshole who put me in this situation.

So this preacher really gets you down in the mind, Oh, I know he's good.  I left my mind strong.  He continued to show movies about how Jesus was brutally beaten with a whip soaked in leather with metal beads on the ends, causing the most amount of pain.  (I guess talking about immoralities is a weakness in all slow minded idiots.) Then in the auditorium they turned up the sound volume, so they can hear the whipping sounds of Jesus getting hit.  Then they talk about how Jesus never begged for help, or anything, as he continued to stay noble, and continue to get beaten to death.(idiot).  These cute girls in front of me, I remember seeing them crying, as he was talking about Jesus and how he was being held in an act of bondage, like some nasty gay porn star telling the dominatrix/gimp to hit him harder.  Then after about 2 more hours of preaching bullshit, I went to sleep, just to be woken up by a lot of noise.  They put some big picture of Jesus on the wall, and he had everyone get up and bow to Jesus' shitty picture.  I was so pissed off.  All these kids were crying, and apologizing that they didn't believe in him after all.  It made me sick.  I told my friend that I had the runs, and went to the bathroom, because I didn't want to go up there, and make an idiot out of myself by getting on my hands and knees like some bitch, and pretend to put on some shitty hollywood act, and pretend to cry.. So I stayed in there for the remainder of the time everyone was playing grab ass with Jesus' picture, and each other. I saw complete strangers hugging each other, crying in happiness, as if they got saved or some bullshit.  My friend was disappointed that I didn't bow before Jesus.  The preacher, he was a very good speaker, I can tell you that.  I even saw a few middle aged non-believer men broken down, crying.  It was amazing how this guy put that much power into his words.  Even though his words of power had absolutely no logic behind Jesus' supposed creation.  On the way out I seen that they were selling "Reborn Christian Shirts."  Making a profit off of what should be a free service.  If I remember correctly, my friend paid my entry fee to get into the Church Seminar, which was something around $4.00, add that times the 500 people that attended, and you've got a nice paycheck..

Sounds like a good way of making money though.  I could pretend to be a pastor, and set up a religious ceremony, seminar style, with shitty Christian music, and Rap songs about how god is pimp.  Then gather a shitload of dumb asses 15 dollars a pop, an preach to them about how Jesus was someone else's bitch, getting beaten down, make everyone cry, then make them think they're saved.  Then I can sell some shitty merchandise, for a maximized profit.

I was so glad I got home after that.  My friend asked me if I would go to Church with him next Sunday, and I told him, No, and I told him to get away from me.  He knew I needed space, and he thought it was because of what I saw and heard at the Auditorium which made me feel the way I did.  It wasn't that, it was him.  That asshole, trying to poison my brain with bullshit.  Pretty much after that I never talked to him much.  I ran into him once when he was working at Burger King about 4 years ago, and he tried to race my friend back home in his shitty Datsun pickup truck.  Even then he continued to talk about god and other such bullshit, while he was in the middle of a street race vs. my friends' other shitty car, which made me avoid him again.

The Fallacies of Religion:
For thousands of years, people all over the world have been fighting over their religious beliefs.  Religion was forced upon people, because apparently people need something to believe in to feel better about their world.  To feel like they have a protector beside them, and if they do good, then they will be rewarded in heaven.  They needed a purpose for living in life.

There are many religions, and people feel very strong about these religions.  There are many known "gods" in this world.  I remember reading about the Aztecs and their religious ceremonies.  They would take a random person out of the city and sacrifice them.  They would make them walk up to the top of this pyramid looking altar, and would cut out their heart, and raise it to the sun.  Their idiot people thought the sun needed to eat, so they gave it a human heart by sacrificing someone.  People actually believed in these things.  So they had to come up with a suitable plan to relax people into believing in ONE god, that doesn't sacrifice his people.  Basically a god with a sense of credibility, rather than myth.

I remember watching something on T.V. in Europe in the 14th Century, they had massive flooding, and serious weather problems, and rain that lasted for over 100 years.  Crops were damaged, people were always sick.  Plague erupted all over, people were dying.  Where's god?  He must be punishing us.  So then these large groups of men walked around this big cathedral, with whips, whipping themselves in the back as they walk around in the church, because they think god is punishing them, so they punish themselves in an illogical effort to get gods approval.  I laughed so hard when I saw that.

For you religious assholes, let me ask you a few multiple choice questions about your GOD ok?

1. What created Adam and Eve?
a.) Gods Magical Powers
b.) A False Prophet
c.) God's love
d.) none of the above

Answer: B

Why did god punish Adam and Eve for eating the apple?
a.) Because he was a power tripping asshole.
b.) Because Adam and Eve are his bitches, and he wants full control over their "free will."
c.) Because god told them not to do it.
d.) God doesn't exist, so shut the fuck up already.

Answer: D

How did the virgin mary get pregnant?
a.) God inflated her vagina with magic sperm, and created Jesus.
b.) Mary was a whore, who lied to idiots for fame.
c.) Mary got raped by a Camel and didn't want anyone to know that that Camel indirectly created the man known as Jesus.(Thus she remained a virgin, in a sense.)
d.) none of the above.

Answer: B.

What's gods definition of perfect?
a.) Being good in every way as long as you don't eat an apple.
b.) Not killing someone.
c.) Believing in him.
d.) none of the above

Answer: A.

Bible Facts:

According to the bible, All women of the human race were punished by god for Eve's actions, thus their pregnancies are more painful.  Keep in mind that Female mammals of every kind develop their offspring inside them, so I guess female dolphins were punished because of something a human did.  Makes sense huh?

According to the Bible, Adam was convinced by Eve who was convinced by a talking snake aka Satan to eat an apple.  Let's forget about the fact that snakes do not have vocal cords, and even such a small creature as a snake wouldn't possess the intelligence or brain size capable to talk or even have a conversation with a human being.

According to the bible, Adam and Eve could live forever without aging.  Of course, every natural living creature has a natural age limit, I guess god has a magical way around that problem.

According to the Bible, Adam and Eve, used to sit with lions, and other animals and feast with them, and could have logical conversation with animals.  I guess they forgot to ask each other why if god was so smart, and he knew we would eventually betray them, then why is he enduring watching us as lab rats?  I guess we're not perfect after all if a Snake can come and tell us to eat an apple.

According to the bible, Noah created a large boat, large enough to gather two species of every known animal, and they willingly followed his order.  Forget about the fact that they had to stock food for these animals, and that they had to live in this Arc for many years in horrendous flooding, and serious weather, that would essentially destroy a wooden crafted boat in this time period, considering the fact that wood and water never mix well, unless Moses created some kind of high tech weather proofing solution that he could rub on the boat, to keep it waterproof for years to come.  Also try and disregard the fact that in all those years that arc could of been destroyed by nearby sea shoals.  I guess in the aftermath, god makes a rainbow after each rainstorm as a promise he will never flood the earth again.  However, rainbows are made by light spectrums, from humid vapors during or after a rainstorm.

According to the Bible, When the end comes, all weapons, including guns, knives, and anything deemed to be considered as a weapon, will be turned into working tools, like a shovel.  So much for the thought of invention and ease, of using high-tech manufacturing equipment to make our lives easier, because the exhaust gas from a trackter will cause pollution, and you can't have pollution in a "perfect world." .  I guess God's premonition of our future is based on us all being farmers in some perfect and controlling environment.  If I had a choice between what I have now, or what I will have to do in "The end." I would go with the latter.

What do you think?

Do you really believe that Jesus lived, and healed people with superhuman powers?  When you talk about issues like this, you're talking about fairy lore, and majestics.  Nobody, under ANY such circumstance, has SUPER human ability.  I am sure we all imagine ourselves with the power in our dreams, and in our thoughts, but it will NEVER happen.  God is just a fantasy created to put forth order in the world.  It's a story, developed by a large group of false prophets who had mental delusions about who they could get to fall into this bullshit story they came up with.

I guess it has a lot to do with hope, and happiness.  People want to be happy, and to be happy you must feel like someone special is watching over you, otherwise you live your life in fear of what's next.  That's why God was invented.  To make people feel like they need someone to watch over, and protect them.

It's all just a big game.  People who fall for it, I laugh at them.  I believe when you die, it's LIGHTS OUT, you don't exist, your spirit doesn't exist.  Everything you ever knew lays to rest with your body.  When you are dead, you are DEAD.  In the next 40-50 years after your death, you are likely to be forgotten, unless you were famous, or did something very amazing in life.  Even then, noone actually knew you, rather, you were just reference material for a research article, or a study.  However, your actual life was not important to anyone at all, plus the fact that noone cares what you did, unless it was on a reality T.V. show.  This is the way it is for many people.

There is no such thing as a spirit, or resurrection of the spirit.  I hate it when people think this way, because it pisses me off.  Someone at work told me once, that God will come to me some day, it could be tomorrow, and it could be 40 years from now. He told me that god came to him in one of his dreams, and he started repenting and believing in him ever since.

I believe that you are your own person, and the choices you make in life are what you make of it.  So I suggest you start trying to enjoy life, or find something enjoyable about life, because you're nothing but a piece of microscopic shit stain in the universe.  Don't let people make choices for you, you do your own thing.  You do as you please, and if you died, well, shit happens.  I'm sure that's what Aborted Fetus's think once they leave the womb fatally.(But then they're not even smart enough to realize they're alive.)

Nothing in life is special, and nothing should be taken seriously, just do your own thing, and die.  That's the way it's been for so many years.  Don't even fear death, death will come to you.  If you spend your life fearing death, and when it happens, you'll wish you didn't fear it, but then as you are being dead, everything that came to mind at the time of death will disappear, simply because you are dead.

So don't buy into this bullshit, that: "Everything will be alright, because your spirit will go to another person and live."  Because that's bullshit.  When you die, your soul is about as dead as that rock you see outside.  It's no longer living, nor dead.  It erased from existence.

The Ten False Commandments

1. "You shall have no other gods before Me. "
My thoughts: Jealousy?  Are you saying there ARE other gods?  What makes your wisdom any greater than theirs?

2. "You shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth;
you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me,
but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments. "

My thoughts: Well, I'm glad you're being honest about your Jealousy, Isn't jealousy a sin?  Jealousy causes death, and people to get screwed over.  I hate you.

3. "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain."

My thoughts: God damnit, Jesus christ, God dangit, now punish me?  Why would you care if they use those words?  They're not even talking about YOU!  You fucking idiot.  At least when I said it here, I was talking about you this time.  Now bring on your wrath upon me asshole.  I hate it when I come to some assholes house, and they yell at me because I: "used the lords name in vain." even though I wasn't even TALKING about God, Fuck you!

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Six days you shall labor and do all your work,
but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daugh-
ter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates.
For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

My Thoughts:  I never heard of the Sabbath day, in fact noone has even mentioned it to me.  I guess I'm going to hell then right?  Idiot. What does cattle have anything to do with going to church?

5. "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you."

My Thoughts: Considering I have to do this by default anyways, you might as well save up the bullshit you're spewing about the land you're giving to me, because the land currently given to me, is owned by the government, in which I have to pay property taxes on, even though I supposedly own it, if I don't pay for it, it gets taken away, and I get to spend some time paying my dues with a Bubba behind bars.

6. "Thou Shall Not Kill."

My Thoughts: Oh shit, really?  You mean that insect I accidentally stepped on, on my way to work?  I killed it, so I guess I'm going to hell?  What's that you say?  Only if I kill Humans?  What makes animals, bugs, and insects not exempt from this?  When I was a kid I used to go outside and step on ants every day.  I enjoyed torturing bugs because it was something to do.  What if some day I am forced to go into war, and I have to kill someone?  I guess I'm going to hell then right?  Moron....

7. "You shall not commit adultery."

My Thoughts: So basically what you're saying is, if I get married, and a few years later find out my wife is a worthless bitch, and I cheat on her, I am breaking the laws of god?  Is that the same for Divorce?  Until death do us part eh?  I think god is a god damn moron.

8. "You shall not steal."

My Thoughts:  I don't steal from people, or friends, and I don't think people should steal from me.  I've stolen things from assholes at School who deserved it.  So I guess I'm going to hell, because your dumb ass wasn't being specific.

9. "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. "

My Thoughts:  I hate some of my Neighbors, I guess I'm going to hell because I don't love my asshole neighbor who likes to call the cops on me, if my license plate tags expire.

10."You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's."

My Thoughts:  Yeah I'll make sure, that I don't go over to my neighbor's house and steal his donkey, and his ox.  Right....

What Did Satan Do Wrong?

What the HELL did he do wrong?  When I read portions of the Bible, he gave Eve and Adam the opportunity to experience the taste of an apple.  God took away their FREE WILL to whatever they pleased.  Seriously, what's the crime in eating an apple?  I eat apples all the time.  They are healthy, and taste great when it's juices are mixed in certain beverages.

They didn't commit a crime based on the fact that they wanted to see what an apple tasted like.  If I lived indefinitely, and had no video games, no television, and couldn't innovate based on a set of rules, I'd be fucking bored out of my mind.  I can see myself just sitting in a Jungle for hundreds of thousands of years doing absolutely nothing, wishing I could die an early death, to put myself out of the misery of living a boring ass life.

So it's no wonder they tried the Forbidden Fruit.  I bet that shit tasted good, after thousands of years of eating the same old fruits and vegetables, and having intellectual conversations with Lions, Tigers, Bears, and Snakes.  Not being able to try anything different for a change.

Hell, I would of done the same damn thing.  After eating that apple, I'd probably go and eat the Snake next, just to try something new, in fact after a few thousand years of eating every animal around, I'll begin to wonder what God tastes like.

Seriously though, what did Satan do wrong?  He was just trying to give Adam and Eve freedom from god's permanent jail.  Not even a perfect person would live their whole lives like robots, change is just something we've always had to deal with.

If I was to take sides on who's right, and who isn't right, I would take Satan's side.  Satan set Adam and Eve free, and allowed them to have children, and be able to do different things with their life, which god would of normally prevented.

I can't take Satan's side, because Satan DOESN'T EXIST!  Nor does god, or Jesus, or the Three Wise men, or any of those fools.

We've learned what we have today, based on what we know in Science, Science is my only religion, and it's the only religion that can be proven.

What is my belief?

I believe that when the first carbon based life form evolved, billions of years ago, it lived just as single-celled micro organisms usually do, and have geographically determined locations for it to evolve based on it's environment.  They reproduced like normal cells do through cellular mitosis.  Therefore it would evolve into a creature of some kind, or what ever would fit it's basic needs for adaptation, based on the surroundments of which it lives.

We've carbon dated elements of bones belonging to early humans, before the time that was considered as being around Adam and Eve.

Why don't we see these changes in Evolution?  It's because it takes thousands of years to even notice any significant changes.  One of the things the human race has been dependent upon is their ability to have intelligence.  Knowledge and the understanding of the world around us, has made us learn about how life works.  Thus we further evolve into beings dependent upon our ability to know things, as we crave for more knowledge.

We basically evolve as we move along.  If we have a long term barrier, eventually nature will make it so we get around that barrier, what ever that may be, our bodies will adapt.

Some guy at work had an argument with me, about the thought that the human race evolved from monkeys.  The thing is, we DID evolve from monkeys.  He then asks me why there aren't any half human, half monkeys around, and why there isn't any monkeys evolving into human beings.

1. It would take at least 10 million years to get to a monkey to human phase,  They just haven't caught up yet.
2.We will most likely destroy ourselves, and the surviving monkeys will evolve into human beings, and the cycle of human life to corruption will continue.  Then tens of millions of years later, all the evidence of human life will eventually sink into the earth and vanish, and turn into fossil fuel for the monkeys that will take over the world in millions of years later, and the only thing left to resemble human beings is our bones, which will most likely be different than the future of evolved animal species' bones in their human form.


Idiots try to tell me that the reason god doesn't intervene in the world, is because he now gives us "free will." and part of that free will includes the fact that he will have no part of our lives whatsoever.  That's just an excuse to justify that he actually exists. Yet, he supposedly wants us to believe in him through word of mouth? What about human credibility?  That's bullshit.  If god didn't want us to know about him, then he wouldn't of created Jesus, and then we wouldn't of known shit.  I am sure the Bible has been vigorously edited over the years by fraudulent religious nuts, to turn the Bible into something they believe in personally.

It's all bullshit, and there is no excuse to justify what we don't know as fact.  So therefore, I will stick with that I DO know, which is Science, and base my life on the knowledge of what I know from it.

Idiots will come to me with their Revelations of God and Jesus, and when I question their beliefs, they'll try and hit me back with some moronic comeback like: "What created space, what created the universe then?"  Don't ask me questions which I don't yet have the answer to.  That's a stupid question anyways.  Don't try to answer your questions with bullshit that some asshole wrote a few thousand years ago, and try to tell me that God magically created the universe, because I will either: punch you, or avoid you.

Morale of the story: People think god is real.  God is Mythology.  I'd rather believe in Zues, because he was a cooler god.