Want to know a methodical way to piss someone off? This is what you do: Make a car commercial with 4 flaming idiot morons, make them do stupid things to sell cars, and then start your own late night "Entertainment" show, featuring these 4 dumb asses. We've all seen annoying poor quality car commercials, but these guys top them off. The star of them all is this hairy douchebag named "Shagman", and his friends Audrey "The Slut", and a stupid black cop named "Officer Odell". I don't still understand the meaning of the fake cop in the character plot line. Let's just put logical meaning aside and make a shitty commercial.
I tried to find pictures of these fools over the internet, but apparently they're more interested in pissing us off on T.V. rather than pissing us off over the net.. But that's ok, I will make a simple drawings to indentify these morons, and what they're all about.
Shagman A.k.A. Shaggy: Not only is this guy a poor actor, but his humor level matches up with that of people like Bob Sagot. The only reason why this moron hasn't been fired yet, is because everyone has been too much of a pussy to confront him. Every time I see his dumb ass on T.V. I have to change the channel. Usually the name "Shaggy", or "Shagman" would be a name you give to somone who is cool, or "pimping". This guy is not Cool or Pimping in any way. Everytime I see this moron on T.V. I wanna punch him in the face.
Audra: Never mind the fact that she looks like a trailer park, trashy whore. However let's concentrate on her moronic role as a used car saleswoman. She doesn't talk much during the commercial, she just smiles, and asks Shaggy stupid questions, like: "What's that Shagman?" while she prances around the parking lot in her skimpy outfit, probably giving 45 year old male viewers erections.
Officer O'Dell: It would only make sense to add a black
man to an all-white cast of a Colorado commercial series to sell cars. I don't
think anyone could understand the logic of adding a police character to the
commercial unless they were doing something illegal, and wanted to cover
it up by kissing ass with the local law enforcement. Apparently this character
likes to bust "Shagman" on the commercial a lot. I would bust Shagman too,
or rather, just his lip. Hell, I'd bust all of their lips just for the hell
Then there is one last character named "Mr.. Rocky" who acts like the greedy owner of the dealership, always carrying around a glass of some kind of alcoholic beverage. (Great advertisement for young children there..) If I saw Mr.. Rocky in person I would probably kick him in the balls, and urinate in his drink.
To make matters worse, I was surfing through late night broadcasts, and I came across "The Greatest Car Show on Earth". Staring these four Imbeciles. As soon as I tried to change the channel my brain was paralyzed, by Shagman's annoying voice. Next thing you know he has some slutty dancers called "The Go Go girls" (as if anyone knew who the hell that they are.)dancing to some shitty music
I've seen advertisements and such for new inventions, which is understandable, but when you have a Paid late night infomercial about a Car Dealership, it's not only stupid, but it's BORING AS HELL. What's funny is that they actually had a studio audience in there. The only people who were in there looked like the actual people who worked for the dealership. If they're not talking about how great their cars are, they are usually playing grab ass in their commercial advertisements.
They did a great job in pissing me off, because every time Shaggy, or Mr.. Rocky said something, the piece of shit audience laughed and started clapping. Then Mr.. Rocky gathers all the "Go Go Girls" dressed in steamy slutty leather , and gathers them around his 50 year old Theodore Roosevelt looking ass, and starts playing some shitty country western song about selling cars or some shit. I almost threw up!
How to be a shitty car dealership owner in 10 easy steps:
1. Have some annoying asshole, with a raspy voice try and sell cars for you on a commercial advertisement.
2. Pretend like your cars are always clean and shiny, hell just start washing one for a commercial. (great idea..Puke!)
3. Explain to your audience that your staff are not hagglers, which they are. Used car salesmen are evil.
4. Go and pay random sloth-toothed city trash to tell the viewers about their "wonderful buying experience."
5. Tell everyone that your cars are the cheapest cars in the state.
6. Go to a porn shop, and steal someone's porno movie music so you can give your commercial a little musical zing.
7. Tell the company hosting your commercial to substantially turn up the volume, so you hear every word of the loud speaker.
8. Go Hire someone who plays sports for a living to talk about your shitty cars for sale.
9. Don't forget to mention that you offer bank financing with the lowest rates possible.
10. Post a 1 page ad in the newspaper right in the middle of an important news article someone is reading just to be an asshole.
Morale of the story: People in Colorado think I should buy a used Hummer somewhere else, and use it as a monster truck to trample Rocky's backbone.
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